Today I was supposed to be going over to Liverpool for the cross-country but I woke up this morning with a deep feeling of dread about going. I really didn't want to but felt like I should however the more and more I thought about it, the more appealing the idea of not doing it was. After about two hours of deliberation I finally decided that I wasn't going to go. A huge weight seemed to lift off my shoulders when I had made this decision.
That's not how racing is supposed to make you feel though. Everyone else who races seems to really enjoy it but not me, the only bit I enjoy is crossing the finish line. I'm back to wondering again why I do it if I dislike and dread it this much and I still don't have an answer. Maybe I should just knock racing on the head altogether and just enjoy running? I really don't know. What I'd actually like is to enjoy racing but surely if that was ever going to happen it would have done by now?
Duncan was supposed to be going to Liverpool with me but when I made my decision not to go, he decided to drive over to his friend's house in Darwen to work on the van. He dropped me off in Tockholes on his way so that I could run back home from there via Great Hill.
I went through the gate opposite the car park by the Royal pub and headed down the path. I had intended to go past Hollinshead Hall and out to Piccadilly but I went wrong and ended up on a road which took me out near to Abbey Village. I then had to run along the road quite a way because I wasn't sure which other paths would take me towards Great Hill and I was just outside the coverage area of the map I had with me. By the time I reached the path I know up to Great Hill, I had already done three miles!
I ran through all the mud up to Great Hill and then through lots more mud to White Coppice. From there I ran towards Watermans Cottage and then followed the trail through the woods and out to Anglezarke Reservoir.
I then went past Yarrow Reservoir and then ran to the top barn at Rivington.
When I was about a mile and a half from home, Dave's voice popped into my head from when I bumped into him last night and he was telling me about wanting to do a long run but with some efforts build in. I also thought about something somebody had said to me a while back about how I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit more. I was really tired at this point and my legs were barely moving but I decided to spend the last part of my run doing a bit of a fartlek session and getting out of that comfort zone. I just kept picking points up ahead and running faster to them. Amazingly, I actually felt really good and didn't feel much more tired than I did when I was just plodding along so it's surprising what you're capable of when you think you're too tired.
Thanks Dave! Hope your session went well today too.
Total distance - 11.75 miles
http://www.strava.com/activities/224376829/overview
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